A guy spots a blonde eyeing him up in a car park, he goes over to her and says 'do i know you from somewhere?' the woman replies 'your the father of one of my children' the man panics and thinks back to the one time he was unfaithful 'oh were you the hooker who i fucked over the snooker table while your mate spanked me with celery and stuck the huge cucumber up my ass???' the woman replies 'no, im your sons teacher'